Saturday, July 23, 2011

My Prince - 8

I would love to run my fingers through your hair, when you rest on my lap.... Us being engrossed in hearty and happy conversations.... Discussing everything that interests us, late into the night, with a cup of coffee/tea giving us company! :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Owe It To Him!

‎"I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong."

I think I shall remember this quote for the rest of my life. It makes, at least me, realise that it stands true to its each word. Just that it hits you hard when it does ;)

I've always thought on the same lines though. Whenever I've been low, I've been in the moment surely - sad. That stands true for any moment. Happy or sad. And I'm an extremist in terms of temper and sadness. I'm hardly angry or sad. But when I am, its extreme! Lately, I've started analyzing why something pulls me down. It kinda helps me with reasoning it. But not everything  has a reason always. And that irritates me sometimes. And like any other human being (I think), I question Him. I scold Him, take out my anger at Him, look for answers from Him. I remind Him of how I've fallen and got up, time and again. He probably just patiently listens. And it strikes me, that there is someone who's listening. But is not giving answers or is not trying to pacify me, assure me of good times ahead.

Which is why I turn to my best buds at such a time. Looking for answers. But somehow it always happens that I'm left craving for that talk. All I ever need at that point of time is a bear hug, coupled with venting-out talks. I am a person who bottles up things inside. And I'm scared of the day these doors will open and things won't stop. 

I've been exxxxxtremely low only twice in my life. Before the third one recently. And the worst part was that I couldn't put my finger on why it was hurting so much, this time. I spoke to a couple of friends, but it just did not help. I came back to square one. And then I came across this quote that I've mentioned at the beginning of the post. And everything just mellowed down. Everything fell into place. Everything made sense. 

And my faith grew stronger in, "Whatever happens, happens for a reason and for good." I'm not sorry for living in the moment. At least, it reassures the fact that I'm made of emotions. It's for people around me to realise that I do live in the moment. Whether happy or sad. 

Being strong, for me, does not mean that I cannot get low ever. In fact, according to me I have the liberty of doing that since I've always been strong. It makes me more genuine and less fake. It's just that, once in a while, I get tired of the tests He puts. But then, I hope I fare well in it. I am just happy that he wants me to be strong and not a person who can practically crib, cry and whine ALL the time! 

Thank You God for making me what I am today. I owe it to you, big time! ;) :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

An Angelic Stranger...

I take the Airport bus everyday, to and fro. Over two years of time, I have developed a strange friendship with the conductors and the drivers. A friendship where none of us know each other's name, and greet each other with only smiles, acknowledging that we know each other.

So last night I was waiting for my bus around 9, all alone under a tree. The bus was late and it added to my frustration of being an object to look at, for the passers by (also one of those times when I have thoughts of buying a bike by the way). The bus came and was filled till the driver's cabin. As soon as I got into the bus, the driver gestured me to come closer to the cabin and said something which I got to hear in pieces, as I was rushing to get space! Now this driver has never ever acknowledged my presence or never has smiled at me. I assumed he asked me to stand after a certain point (as the bus stop) as another driver had asked me to do so.

At the end of the ride as I stood to get down at my stop, the driver called me and asked me what I did I get from what he said at the beginning of the ride. I told him my assumption and he nodded his head in disbelief! He said, "I asked you to come closer to the cabin as there were men standing near the door. And I don't want you to wait for the bus at any other spot than the one where you were standing. It is a very safe spot with lights around and the police commissioner's office right there. Stand there everyday. Nowhere else."

And I was touched by his concern. A concern that a complete stranger showed with a fatherly authority. The look of concern on his face, in his tone, in his talk touched my heart. How could it not? And my faith in humanity grew stronger. My faith in people like these, who make the world a better place to live in. It is complete strangers like these, who assure me that there are angels that I meet everyday :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Holding On To Memories!

I watched the play The Blue Mug today for the second time. And I'm so glad that I did. Though it's a simple play, it definitely put my thinking cells to work.

Especially a part where this middle aged man (played by Ranvir Shorey) loses his memory. He does not remember anything after the age of 21 years. So his vivid memories only include his younger days. He does not recognise himself in the present day when he looks at himself. He does not recognise his own brother and needless to say, it scares him. And it scared me, rather made me think.

In all of my 23 years of this life, I've probably had the best and worst of days to remember in each year, every month, every day. I have no idea what kind of a person I would be today if not for those days, those experiences. I'm not saying that I'm a great person or anything like that. In my eyes, I like who I am and am thankful for those days that have made me so today. As it is, I'm pretty bad in terms of memory [check with my sister on this one ;) ], but there are some that are etched.

The play made me think of how my life would be if one day I lost all of this that I hold on to, memories! I'm holding on to memories of my father. I cannot imagine how I would fare if not for those memories. I've had and am having the time of my life with my sister, friends, those parties, those days where I've loafed around, working at a fun place, meeting new people and letting some people go as well. Those memories with a certain group of friends. Yeah those which start a riot of laugh just by mentioning one word! Memories of my mistakes, memories which bring a frown and a smile on my face! Memories of today!

Sometimes, all we probably need are memories. If I think of it, I can see myself recalling some great happy, fun memories when I grow old. So that it brings back to me what I've held on to all my life. Memories, whether happy or sad.