Sunday, December 26, 2010

Natural beauty - highlighted!

At the age of 23, I'm learning how to apply an eyeliner! Never have liked doing make-up. Guess I'm starting to learn basic things! And what harm does an eyeliner what I thought :)

I've always hated over make-up. Very few girls can do basic make-up very good. I think I had liked the fact that was stated in the TV series 'Full House'. In one of the episodes Becky tells DJ that it's very important to do make-up which looks natural and brings out your natural beauty. So true.... Overdone make-up brings so many thoughts in my mind (unless it's forced like in weddings/receptions :P) Hiding your identity, trying to be someone else, not wanting to be yourself, etc.

I don't know why I never felt the need of make-up. I was never attracted to make-up kits/cosmetics. I've looked at so many strangers and felt they would look better without the make-up they've put on. Just highlighting your eyes that might be expressive! Highlighting your lips that will highlight your beautiful smile - and you're good to go :) 

This was just a quick post because of my thoughts :) I hope everyone finds their beauty inside and outside of them, naturally. You're always good to go honey :) Always!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Sitting in Rangashankara last evening, I was thinking about Christmas.... It was such a pretty evening! I could feel that wintery chill which reminded me of how jolly the festival of Christmas is!

In fact, while going to the bus stop yesterday morning, I saw a thin layer of fog which made me happy.... I don't know why! The feel good factor also came from the fact that I was able to give clothes to the needy. I loved the simple mail that was dropped to us in office, informing us of the donation. "This is the season to give and bring a smile to someone's face", read the first line. It definitely had its impact on me :)

It's such a feel good festival. Those beautifully decorated Christmas or even normal trees, give you such a good feeling, isn't it? That whole idea of gifts, secret Santa, wishlist leaves you excited!

Christmas is about the joy of giving, the joy of spreading joy, the joy of making others happy.... It's that one type of fast which you should keep, if you haven't fasted all through the year!

I wish everyone gets to experience all kinds of joy this season! May the joy be with you all :) Merry Christmas!! :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Daddy's Girl

In the last two weeks, I heard about a daughter being lucky if she resembles her father. Recently, a distant relative told me that I remind her of my father so much. And she kept repeating that :)

I couldn't help thinking about him, quite obviously. Thought about how he was to me and my sister. About how he supported me in his small ways. And I always felt and knew that his support existed in big ways and small. 

I don't know what being lucky means, as I've taken life in my own ways and in it's own ways as well. But I'm surely a lucky girl to have a father like mine :) Daddy's girl :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Siddhartha And The Irony Around Us

I was reading 'Siddhartha' by Hermann Hesse in the train, on my way to Nagpur. I was very excited to start the book. Buddha has always charmed me. And this excitement and charm made me finish the book in 18 hrs. flat!!

So here I was, reading this book about Siddhartha, who gave up all of his possessions in search of the ultimate. And there was so much of irony around me! I was surrounded by people who didn't take a minute to to take out their worldly possessions! As soon as the train started, everybody was busy with their laptops, music players, etc. We do carry our world together, don't we! No wonder people don't come across that feeling of 'missing' something or someone! For all you know, unlike Siddhartha, we might google for 'the ultimate'!

For me personally, it feels great to access the net after a whole of two weeks! I didn't miss it, but I like coming back to it. Why is it that we want to carry our worlds with us, is something I wonder so many times... Chuck the technology advancing etc. part. I don't care! What happened to spending time in the train by reading magazines, books, talking to fellow passengers? Yeah, we fear that the person next to us might be dangerous. All these old charms are dying. And I feel sad to witness this, but still hope that they will be alive.

In fact, when you're travelling with your friends and relatives, why do you need your laptop anyways? Oh yes, to keep your naughty child busy by making him addicted to such things. Instead of teaching him manners, you keep him busy with the laptop and let him irritate the other passengers, after he's done with playing on the laptop. You also like to watch that movie for the nth time with your friends, instead of catching up or having fun in the journey.

Whatever happened to looking forward to train journeys with your friends and family, planning what you will do during the journey.... It wasn't like people never travelled alone when we didn't have laptops or such things. I agree on the fact that we have more ways to pass time alone nowadays, but it makes me sad to see people carrying their worlds with them. It's actually a form of addiction.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Strange Ways....

There are times when I feel lonely. Times when some people desert me for a while or may be forever. Which makes me wonder if I've done something to hurt the other person. And this happens with those who are really close to me - friends list. Because in no context would I like to or intend to hurt anyone, especially a friend. I'm one of those who can apologise immediately, if the need be. Very few times have I not apologised. In fact, I don't remember when I haven't.

All this makes me wonder about God's strange ways. Yes, they will have a good reason once you find out, but that's for later. What about the moment? The way you feel at that very moment. You recall the days when you stood by your friends, gave them a shoulder to cry on, gave advices when they needed one, helped them stand back on their feet when they stumbled. Then why is nobody there to listen to you when you need nothing more than a lending ear? Why is it that when you finally find comfort in a friend, everything just takes a halt after a while and you're left wondering again - will those friends listen to you next time? Is anything wrong? Did you hurt them? Or are they just busy?

It's very strange. You're surrounded by people in your good times, and not one soul is around when you want one to be around! Yeah, I know sounds clichéd, but hey, isn't it true? No. I'm not asking something in return when I helped someone. That wasn't even my motive. I don't even know if I was of any help to my friends ever! Just trying to make a point about the strangeness....

Chuck all those quotes about friendship. Quotes do not make a relationship, but they definitely make them look beautiful. Finally it's only at every point in life you find out who stood by you and who left you to deal with your own situations. Even though you never asked for help. You asked for an ear. And I know how important listening to someone is. It's very comforting.

But as always, I'm glad for whatever has happened or is happening in my life. Yeah I rant about the current happenings but at the end of it all, I've learnt lessons this way! I am what I am today because of the events in my life and I know there's a good reason behind all of the events! :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Transition

The transition - of becoming a woman from a girl. Though I'm not sure if I fall under the category of a woman yet, I still know what it takes to be one.

A few days ago, my colleague was telling me about how she shopped for a few things, and felt like a girl rather than a grown-up, married woman. It left me with a few thoughts. Of what I feel about the transition.

When a girl goes through different phases of life, some of the things are known to her, while some are taught by others. But most of the girls know how to behave in those different phases of her life. Very few remain kiddish. There are so many emotions inside of her when she is realising that it's time for her to become a mature girl. That her immature behaviour might irritate herself. Some are happy thinking about the freedom they will get as soon as they become a woman. Of the times ahead. In this transition, some become serious and take everything seriously. While some might be upset that the young phase of their life is slowly passing away with time. 

Me? I don't think I was ever upset when I realised that I'm actually not immature anymore. That people around me think of me to be a mature girl/woman as well. It was a nice, and in a weird way, an independent feeling. A girl always has emotions  - of every kind. She comes across them in various stages of life. May be that is the reason a woman is considered to be a woman. Because she goes through various things in life - complicated and simple. In fact, all through her life. 

Why is it that after a certain stage, the woman starts judging herself, though unknowingly? What is wrong in going back to the young you, once in a while? It's not that you'll lose a tab of the mature you. That's the reason I believe in being young at heart. It's a different concept altogether. It does not mean that you become childish or some such. It's the moment you stop judging yourself. The moment you realise that being a woman could be simple as well as difficult at times. But at the end, you know what you're made of. You know that being a woman is the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to you. 

And it's very important for the gentlemen around us to realise, what being a woman means and takes. 

Just go back to the young you today, and see if you realise what being young at heart means sweety. Everybody is growing old everyday, but you can do so in a different way. With grace, love, happiness and with youth :)


Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Contagious Laugh - The Best Disease!

Dreaming about the future is such a feel good factor! Especially the one I have in my mind.

I see myself alone (yes for a while). With only the people I love around me. Only the positivity around me. Friends coming over most of the times. Having the craziest time of our lives! I see myself laughing so hard all the time, loudly! Laughter of me and my loved ones echoing throughout the house. Like those rare pictures people manage to click when people are laughing hard so much so that their stomach starts hurting, tears roll out, laughing with their heads swaying back most of the time! So hard that it's hard to breathe! :) Have you ever had that lovely laugh?

I love those contagious laughs! :) I cherish such moments when I laugh that great laugh. Because it's not everyday. But I want to, and I know I will laugh like that very soon - everyday :) I will live this dream that keeps flashing in front of my eyes all the time. I see myself as a calmer person. A much happier person. A fun-filled one too. I know that is me.

So laugh like you've never laughed before! Atleast we can try to do that everyday. And make sure it's contagious! :) A contagious laugh brings a smile on others face, if not that laugh.

Since I like to (and do!) smile most of the times, I shall try and make others smile too :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Retail Therapy!

Yes 'retail therapy'! It works everytime, doesn't it girls? :) Irrespective of your mood. If you're low, you'll be pepped up; if you're happy you'll be hyper!

I was checking out this blog yesterday. I liked a lot of things - her clothes and some of her accessories as well. All through the day, I kept looking at it, and I realised I still haven't explored one side of me. I know what stops me from exploring it, but then I had decided to pay attention to my likes and dislikes. Because I want to live my life. The one and only!

So, after having a chat with my sister, I decided to check out a few clothes in the lovely shop - Just Casuals. With actually no plans of buying, I ended up buying one cute skirt and a cute cute top! Yeah...I do things on impulse :D I don't mind that at all!! 

Which made me more excited (as I already was during the day with thoughts of cute clothes :D)! I went home with the purpose of turning a piece of cloth into a much cooler one. And the new top looks perfect on it! :)

The point being, retail therapy does work for girls (take note guys!). And then, all of us have one life to live and try out everything! So why not explore the side of yours which you have always wanted to explore! :)

Thank you God, for providing me with this thought and pepping me up! :) 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

She Gathers Herself...Because of Hope...

She is happy after a long time. After a long time because the situations around her kept changing for the worst and were ugly. Her friends would ask her, "What happened to you? You used to be so happy! You were the one I turned to for positivity. You were the one who found joy in every small thing! You were the one in my mind, when I was down because I knew you would pull me up and show me the reasons to be happy for. But what happened to you?" She said, "I miss myself. I miss myself so very badly."

She struggled everyday to find one reason to be happy. And even if she did find a reason, things around her would nullify it. Making her miss herself all the more. She began to wonder what went wrong and where. She was very well aware of the fact that she has only one life to live. She was missing the person inside her, who was aware of this so much, that she couldn't stop smiling a few months ago. She would ask questions to herself, seek answers from others, but nothing would help. 

But she never lost faith in Him. The first time when she was down, she wanted somebody to help her up, she wanted a shoulder to cry on. That's when she realised that you can be alone, even if you have a 1000 friends. That you shouldn't expect anything from any body. She is still learning to accept this fact though. And then she thought, "I will have to get up anyways - with or without anybody's help. Might as well do it by myself. And be independent of others." May be this was His way of telling her that you should learn to cope with situations alone. 

She started wondering if her past hasn't taught her enough. Was there more to come? But she had learnt to be strong, responsible, to have the right amount of attitude, even a stone at times! What was missing? She wondered if the dark clouds will ever move away to a house of their own! And then the sun rose! She was cheerful to see the sun dancing around with her. She enjoyed it to the core! But then she was let down again. For months she struggled. Her friends noticed this and questioned her.

She gathered herself, all by herself again. Without the help of her family or friends. She was proud for her belief that things will get better, as they did. The sun came out in the morning...stayed through the day...but the evening brought dark clouds again and shooed the sun away earlier than when he was bound to leave. She missed the sun. She wished it would stay for a bit long. Though she knew the sun would appear in the morning again, she was doubtful that it would make her happy. 

And she wondered....if she has done anything wrong again. But she knows she is a good human being. She will never want anything bad for anybody, unless the feeling of vengeance hits her. She is always ready to help others, without thinking whether they would help her or not. She always tries to keep others happy. Then why is she pulled down every time? Why does the sun disappear so fast from her life? She sometimes cries herself to bed. And she hates it when she does that. She hates the feeling of being helpless. 

But she sleeps with the hope that when she wakes up, she is all happy, positive again. And that she can be happy for a longer time this time. Her belief in good things keeps her going. She has learnt. Learnt a whole lot. Which makes her what she is today. A good human being. 

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I, Me, Myself

I got an article today in the mail. It was titled 'You are the one you are waiting for'. I liked the name of the article, without even reading it! Some thoughts struck me by looking at the name of the article itself, and I did go on to read it immediately, as I wanted to find out if what I was thinking was mentioned there.

I agreed with the very first line there : We spend a lot of our lives looking for role models, mentors, teachers and gurus to guide us on our path. I also agree that there is nothing wrong in it. But what makes us do that? Is it the fact that we don't trust ourselves, our instincts? Yes we can go wrong. In fact, we will not be right every time! It is after committing mistakes that we learn. It is after erring we learn to trust ourselves, our instincts. Look within yourself for answers first. Fight for your decision if you know you can do it. And there's always an option of turning to others for help, when you're confused. But don't go the other way around. Don't turn to others first.

It is said you should take risks. True. Go ahead with your decision. You'll find out if it was right or wrong. And always know that whatever happens, happens for a reason - whether you're right or wrong. Ones who fight for their decisions and go ahead with it are called rebels. Why? They're perfectly allowed to that, and are may be born to do that. They have immense trust in themselves. They fail. They commit mistakes. They learn. And still be a rebel. Bingo! A good way to lead the only life we have, I'll say.

There's some amount of guilt that holds us back from being ourselves. We think of so many people (parents, other family members, friends, society etc.) and things before taking a stand. A stand for who? - For yourself! We are pressurised unnecessarily (that too by ourselves!). Why again? To lead our own life! Yes we owe to our parents. I totally agree. But why should that stop us from doing something we want? Why can't I keep everybody happy by being a rebel? Yes I can! The very fact that you have to fight to lead your own life, is ironical.

You have so many incidents to make you realise you are alone. You came into this world alone. You'll leave this world, all by yourself.You come to know who stand by you, when there are struggles in your life (clichéd but true). It's a totally different aspect which parallelly exists.  So you might as well live in your own way.

Doesn't stop us from being a socialite :) But the underlying fact being, trust yourself. You're not being selfish if you're being yourself. You're actually giving the gift of another human being to the world, by doing so. How are you different if you're trying to be someone else? How will you gain trust from others and from yourself, if you're being someone else and not you?

And it is said - if you don't love yourself, you cannot love others! :)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Dreams Turning To Reality...

Siiting in the coziest corner of the house, listening to John Mayer, peace all around, roads fresh with rain.... Ah! Life! What strikes me at this point of time is the thought of my future house. I don't know why! Or may be I do!

Today was a day filled with talking about and looking at bungalows. I was so happy to look at my cousin and his wife's dream being constructed :) Watching their dream being turned into a reality, discussing how the interiors will be! Was so much fun! Then we looked around some more bungalows in the colony, majority of them being beautiful!

It's the greatest feeling when something you dream of, comes true, isn't it? The rush, the imagination in your head about the future! You have that spark in your eyes, the one which makes you realise that your dream is secure. The spark that is curious for the fine, love-fun-filled life ahead. The thought of your near and dear ones being around you in the dream - the reality ahead :) Also the time you'd like to be alone for a while, away...enjoying your dream!

Yes. I believe in dreams coming true. And I also believe that only you can turn your dreams into reality. As it is said, if you don't want it bad, you don't want it at all. So keep dreaming (though in a practical way!)

Hope you all sleep well tonight, and dream the sweetest dream, which turns into reality soon :)

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Driving At Night

I don't know exactly when I started liking speed! And I'm not scared of speed unless I know how good or bad the driver is (obviously :D )! I love to watch bike/car/speed sequences in movies!

I like late nights in general. Especially the time from 12 to 4 or 5 am! You witness a completely different picture of the city! There's a little bit of buzz, just the right amount... And the best part is the serenity around! But the city cannot be called as dead. It is serene, peaceful, calm. Especially in big cities, it is so good to see the city in such a state at night. Because all day through, you'll be facing traffic - of more or less intensity. You don't want to be on the roads at sometimes. But after 11pm is different!

The city turns into a movie (for me!) at night. Empty roads, those orange lights falling on the roads, the cool breeze! Ah! Who wouldn't want to drive at such a time!

Today my friend said, I don't drive like how normally girls would drive. And I was happy! :) It definitely is a compliment, for a woman driver especially. I know the rules of the road. And I have fun in my own way when I drive at nights. When driving alone, I time myself! I love to do that! It is much more fun if I go out during late evenings. Because I like to cut through traffic and still make it in the timeline set by me! :D And I like to overtake fellow drivers! I don't know why it gives me a kick :D

I have this fantasy (to be converted into reality soon) of buying a sports bike and a superb car! I want to race ahead! Though I may not know the technicalities of a bike or a car even today, I want those two. I will be that speed lover who has the sense of driving and who knows the rules. My enjoyment shouldn't be trouble for others!

Come November, and the next thing off my list is learning to drive a proper bike! :) Oh! I love driving late in the nights! :)

Song on my mind 'Drive' by Incubus. Louve this number! :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Finding Freedom

Finding freedom means different things for different people. For some, it literally means doing things they've never been allowed to do. And though some people might be given freedom in their life, they're somehow not free in a few ways.

Though we hail from a small town, my parents have given me and my sister the right kind and amount of freedom. We knew our limits, we knew how freedom is to be utilised in the right way. But in a few ways, I did not find freedom. I was never a rebel to go ahead and do things that I wanted to do. I in no way blame my parents for this. I love them for the way they have brought us up. I am grateful. :) But, sometimes I wonder, if that same freedom pulled me back... That feeling of thinking twice before doing something that you really want to do, but don't fight for, for the fear of hurting people around you. And then you end up regretting or cribbing.

When I moved to Bangalore, I was much much happier, as I did not have to fight anymore. Instead, I found support in my sister! :) She always stood by me and let me try/do new things. Crazy things. Sometimes she even asked me to try new stuff, and to learn from it. I strongly believe that small or big, lessons can be learnt from anything!

It's not a good feeling when somebody does not understand or accept your lifestyle. Especially the one who has seen you grow. Has been there all through. That same person refuses to let go of you, pulling you back by reminding you of the freedom that person has provided throughout. It is hugely ironical. The person does not realise for a moment, that she/he is contradicting the very lesson she/he taught.

I always found freedom in my friends. I wouldn't have to think before saying, doing anything. I wasn't answerable to anybody. They've accepted me as I am. Appreciated me for being the way I am. Pointed out my flaws. And I am thankful to them for all of this. They do not expect me to change my personality for them. I can never do that, not even for my family. There have always been issues in the family for the lifestyle I lead, the decisions I've taken. You know, the small battles. But never with friends. I find calmness and peace with friends around. I'm a social butterfly who likes her friends that display various colours of life through their own wings :)

And I do hope to find the freedom I desire in my future guy as well! The one who sets me free, and expects the same from me. I would always want to treat him like a close friend first, so that he can be the same person with me, as he is in front of the whole world. And yes, expect the same from him. A friendly-romantic relationship! :)

Because I think friends, love, marriage is all about freedom.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Dancing away

Who doesn't like to dance! Very few! Even those who are shy to come to the dance floor, definitely feel the beats and move a bit! I was one of those shy people in college, but now? Nobody can stop me :D (I don't care if I'm good or bad at it!)

I had been dying to go dancing, but just couldn't get the chance and the time! My recent trip with office friends gave me the chance and the time! I couldn't ask for more! We danced till midnight the first evening and the second (and the last evening) we danced till 2am! We were unstoppable! Everybody enjoying it to the core, literally. And I realised....
- You are yourself while dancing. This 'is' the one time when you really don't care about anything/anybody around you. You have that 'I don't care' attitude overflowing! :)

- You leave all your worries at a place where they deserve to be, and dance away.

- You live (dance) like never before! Like this is the last day. You live life to the fullest at that very moment. :)

So the next time you see a dance floor, jump on it and dance away to what you would like to - glory, life, fun, friends! And realise, that sometimes we make most of life out of these small, silly, fun, crazy things! Isn't it?

In a way, it's life personified :)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Koel With An Exceptional Voice

The Bangalore weather is delightful again! Monsoon is here! While walking in the morning, I heard this Koel singing. Oh! How I love the way she sings. A melodious voice, which soothes you and reminds you of how beautiful music is and can be. But the one thing I noticed in this particular Koel's voice today was that it wasn't beautiful. There was something wrong. There was a husky tone in her voice.

The Koel did not stop singing. She kept singing in her husky voice. It was as if she was trying harder to be melodious, each time she called. I kept listening to her, and there was a thought hidden behind the Koel's singing.

Though the bird wasn't melodious, she was making it a point to try and get better with each call she made. Undergoing a training, may be. Aren't our lives similar? You're quite unsure of the path ahead with every step you take. But that doesn't stop you from taking a step. You make an effort to put the right step on the right path and if you commit any mistakes you learn from them, keep them in mind, and keep walking.

What you also learn is the efforts you put in, the lessons you learnt, the fear you overcame. Like the Koel. She probably knew that her voice is bad, but she wasn't scared to sing. She will overcome and fight her fear and prove it to the world, that though all Koels are melodious singers, there are exceptions - everywhere. And because of such exceptions, you have a different perspective towards life - a positive one for sure. And you know, you're on the path to a better life.

And I do believe, that struggles - however big or small - bring out the real you. Like diamonds.

Monday, July 12, 2010

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes

I have been tagged by Priya to list at least 10 of my 'sins' against gender stereotypes! (I'll take the liberty of listing more than 10 though :D) Thanks for tagging me Priya :)

Stereotypes are only that - stereotypes! There's no meaning to it! Be it in any regard. Recently I found out that the full form of GOLF is Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden! Do I have to say anything more? :P

My so-called
sins are as follows (not priority-wise):-

1. I love men's wallets! They are so much easier to use! It's a pain to carry that huge purse everytime :( I've always been attracted to men's wallet :)

2. I've always loved the aroma of Old Spice - the after shave lotion :D I used to stand besides my father when he used to apply it. Later, he used to dab some of it on my handkerchief for me to enjoy the aroma :)

3. I'm in love with men's perfumes! Totally! While picking up perfumes for me, I sometimes check men's perfumes as well :)

4. I do not identify with the crappy line -
Betiyaan paraayi hoti hai. In fact, girls are more responsible nowadays. And independent as well.

5. I hate girls/women whose life - purpose is to gossip in their free time. I gossip too sometimes, but not with so much of intensity and do not like to indulge in it. I've always stayed away from those girls/women who have nothing better to do but sit and gossip.

6. I adjust/adapt to my surroundings very quickly, and I'm not the one who will put up with her
nakhras wherever she goes. I do that only at my house sometimes :D ;)

7. I'd love to and
have to learn to ride a bike. I want to own a sports bike, a sexy one, some day. I don't know why I have that fantasy or urge! But it has to happen.

8. I have to own a sexy car one day as well.

9. I love watching sports like football, F1, basket ball, etc. I confess that I might not know the rules of those games, but I like to watch them. :)

10. I do believe that women are bad drivers :D Very few women drivers are good.

11. Though I like to stay at home, I do believe that women should go out and face the real world. It's a great experience and makes them independent.

12. I'm not an out and out traveler, but I like to do that. Exploring new places, new cultures.

13. I like to meet new people and I'm not scared to do that. I don't hesitate to talk to people.

14. I
love food! I'm a foodie! And I can hog on it! I'm not very very conscious of the calories and stuff. If I like something (Death By Chocolate, for example :D) I'll have it, not even thinking twice about it.

15. I like Rock Music.

16. I do not apply make up. At all. Never felt like it!

I think this is my list for now. I do love being a woman. It's a different world! After all, men are from mars and women are from venus ;) I like to do typical girly things like
shopping, enjoying pani-puri, etc. too.

I don't want to tag anyone for this post. That's it for now then. Hope I made sense to the tag :D

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Walking Through A Deathbed

The title I had in my head was 'Walking Through A Deathbed And Amongst Brain Dead People'. Yeah, thankfully I cut it short! But this is a long - pending post with the same title stuck in my head since I have been wanting to write it. Read on if you're ready for some more rants!

Doesn't it get irritating when the simplest tasks in your life start getting complicated and worsen each day? Like, crossing that bloody road everyday - morning and evening! It's like an MTv Roadies task (which I luckily win everyday!!). Or may be it's the fact that all the good drivers are not present on the road when I'm out! May it be walking or even if I take a bike!

For crossing those roads, even if I do follow the pedestrian signal, I have to check the signal I'm crossing for the possibility of a moron trying to jump a signal. Oh why even go that far! When I'm walking on the pavements - YES, they ARE meant for people like me, and we are a category called pedestrians - I have to look back often for a bike might just hit me! I don't know what they'll achieve by jumping those signals, or by driving on the pavement! You're not the only one in a hurry you know! Or may be you wanna use the loo urgently.
I'm sorry if that's the case.

The moment people realise that the signal is going to turn green, you should listen to the sounds of those vehicles. Accelerators raising. I feel as if I'm witnessing a live F1 race! Vroom vroom! Vrooooooooom! Oh yes, and these wanna be F1 racers will not wait for the pedestrians to cross the signal, even if they're midway. Because basically those who have those things with metal bodies to sit inside or on it, own the bloody roads! We pedestrians are a havoc for them!! Did anyone say 'respect for pedestrians?' Oh! I can't stop laughing when I hear that phrase.
You get an idea of the deathbed I'm talking about, right?

Now let's talk about the Brain Dead people. Well the above rants kinda explain that category. Nonsensical people who have been given these vehicles to drive, who do not even know the basic rules of the roads! Forget the rules! Basic sense is missing. I respect the man who came up with a true line, "Common sense is the most uncommon". Respect dude.

The other category of Brain Dead people is, in layman language, the perverts. Oh sorry, the organ brain is missing from their body, I think. And that's why they're special in a way. The no brains category sounds muuuuuch better. As if it wasn't enough to face them in buses, you have to be alert as a pedestrian and sometimes, even as a driver. As a pedestrian, you never know when and how they will come.

I have to utilise my brain in things like crossing roads, climbing buses (as they refuse to stop mostly), walking on pavements, being alert about the perverts around!! Now this is what I call waste of energy and brains! Getting irritated because other people do not have the...the....what's the word I'm looking for....SENSE.

All I desire at the end of the day is peace. I repeat - peace. Can I have some?? Hello?? Damn it!

Friday, July 9, 2010

When Things Turn Ugly

There is no term as ugly for me, in terms of people. Every person is beautiful, in his/her own way. Everybody has flaws, that doesn't make them look ugly.
But situations turn ugly. And its unbearable. You've believed all your life, that nothing can be ugly because you don't believe in people being ugly. But you're consciously unaware that things around you can turn ugly. You try to get over it, but everytime it pulls you down and makes you realise that it has always been ugly.
You don't know if you should be silent or speak up about the ugliness. Will it be hurtful? Why should you be the one to have that lump in your throat for the ugliness around? And if you do speak up, the ugliness snaps back at you. Hurting you more.
And you realise, ugliness can make you feel helpless. Your belief that every human being is beautiful, strengthens. Human beings are not ugly. It is the situation that makes them look ugly. But it takes time to get over the ugliness.

And it's rightly been put through these words from a song by Audioslave:

And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up

With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
Don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright

You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do

Monday, June 7, 2010


I watched 'Wake Up Sid' again. Love that movie for the simple factor of being genuine. I guess I had forgotten why I used to smile genuinely. 'Ayesha' reminded me of it. She brought the smile back on my face.
The feeling of being independent, and most importantly in a great city, not just any other city. That rush of excitement and happiness, for no good reason sometimes. The nervousness of surviving in a strange city. The things that make a city lovable, and the fact that you start loving it too for the same reasons, apart from your own reasons.
The weather in Bangalore is awesome today, after a long time. The way it used to be when I had come to the city. The morning factor that made me smile all day long, kept me active and most importantly - happy. Though the weather might
change during the day today, the effect has been done. :)
It's the fact that you have trustworthy friends, close friends in a city which was a stranger to you about a year ago. But it welcomed you with arms wide open! It made you fall in love with it. It made you fall in love with the people, the lifestyle. It became a friend within a month. It made you comfortable in less than a month.
It just brought out the you in you.
It's never the city that makes you low on some days. It's always the people around you that matter. Or maybe the person within you. I can never blame this city for anything wrong. I love it to the core. It's like a relationship. A love - hate relationship. Where you hate it sometimes, because of the people.
It's like everyday you have a story to tell. Which reminds of this line from a song in Wake Up Sid - "Sun rahi hun sudh - budh khoke, koi main kahaani, poori kahaani hai kya kise hai pata...."
This city has given me my freedom. I love Bangalore. And it has definitely struck the right chord of my heart, which brings the other chords in tune. :)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Being young

Being young means different things for different people. Majority of us are career - oriented, no doubt. One of my close friends is my age. And his hard work taught me a lesson in a subtle way.
Confessing that he wasn't serious about a career at one point of time in life, he told me he loves being a CA intern now. His love, dedication, passion towards his work is commendable. I've never seen a CA 'enthusiast', quite frankly. All the CA interns I know are definitely serious about it, but are not enthusiastic. There is a difference. Work for him is fun. CA? Fun? He's the first amongst my friends who are CA interns, who has fun at work!
He worked overnight once, only to go back at the normal office timing i.e. within hours! I opined that he does not need to work so hard and its too much for his age! It didn't matter to him, as he knew what he was doing. He works for 24hrs straight quite a few times. His will, determination, motives are crystal clear. This all is besides his studies. Suddenly, a thought struck me. And I must say, he inspired me to write this post :)
When our previous generation used to nag about what being young means, I never paid attention. After seeing this guy work so hard, the picture that was a blur, became clear.
Being young to that generation meant hard work, determination, will. When he works all night, the picture of hard work comes into being. When he tells me about his work and how it will be good for both, his company and his client, the motive of selfless determination was clarified.
He does not wait to get praised from his boss. He does his work, not for the sake of it though. With his will to do it. Probably he believes that fruits will be borne, once the seed is sown.
Well, he's 22 yrs young! And 'I' had never met a person so young to go that extra mile. There are some people in one's life who teach you big lessons, in a small way. He is one of them for me. He cannot be called a workaholic, for sure. He is not a boring guy either. When it gets to fun, he's the first one in the line. He strikes the right balance.
I don't know if this post makes for a good one, but it is important for me. I'm proud of him for what he is. And thankful that he is a close friend in my life. :)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Loving the rains...

It finally rained in Bangalore! I love rains! I love getting wet in the rains as well. It soothes me and my soul. I am a romantic person, and the rains just make me happy. It's such a romantic season.
Waking up to a morning of rainy clouds is just enough to give me that rush of excitement and happiness. Walking through the rains today, brought back some memories of time spent in the rainy season...
When I was in school, me and my best friend used to walk back home, though we had bicycles. We used to act silly by jumping and splashing in the puddles of water on our way back. Mom's scoldings regarding ruining the dresses, shoes and socks, somehow added to the fun :D
By the time I came to college, the romantic side of me started to peek at me. Walking to college everyday in the rains, made me smile. Graduation was the time when I had a two wheeler to myself. And God did I love to ride in the rains!! I wanted excuses to step out and drive till one of the lakes, feeling those water droplets on my face (they hurt sometime :P). The enjoyment continued when after the ride I waited eagerly for the adrak ki chai, along with my friends. When I used to reach home, Mom would jump and ask if I was ready for some hot pakoras. It was as if Mom could sense the need of those pakoras.
Moving to Bangalore was like a bliss for me in more ways than one. One of them being the untimely rains! The Bangalore weather makes me happy everyday (unless its damn sunny), and the rains just add to the happiness.
Today is one of those days, and the smile on my face will stay throughout :)
The song on my mind is Iktara - both the female and the male version....

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Flying without wings...

I travelled in a flight for the first time, a few days ago. I was excited the moment I saw my tickets!! It was a Kingfisher ticket!! "Wow!", I thought, "Flying for the first time and that too KF!! Ah! Life is a blessing!!"
My sister was as excited to know this as I was! She told me quite a few things that I should keep in mind before, during and after the flight. I did not want to know how it feels when the flight takes off, or lands. Since, I already had heard about nausea and such stuff!!
Putting my foot down at the airport, and knowing that I have to board a flight, felt so good. I was like a kid, smiling and excited all through. That great feeling of being waved at by my sister when I was getting in, was unmatchable. Even getting through the formalities in a rush, since we were late for our flight, kept me smiling. The morning fog welcomed us, when we were being taken towards the airbus. Felt fresh after a long time, and that too on an airport!!
Luckily, I got the window seat. What else could I ask for! When the flight took off, it felt like a roller coaster ride!! And snap! I was flying almost instantly! It was like a dream come true for me! In a few minutes we were between the clouds! It was as if the clouds accumulated to form a new land....
I kept looking out of the window throughout the flight. So much so that I sprained my neck!! :) We were flying over Kolhapur when I looked down at the mountain ranges. They looked exactly the way I've seen in books. Beautiful. Geography lessons would be much better and interesting this way, I thought to myself.
The experience somehow reminded of my childhood. We could see the Nagpur airport from the terrace of our apartment. So clearly so that the runway, the signal, everything was visible. Everytime a plane would roar by, we would rush to the terrace to see it wandering in the sky for a while, and then land. The take offs were more interesting as the plane would turn a few times on the runway and zoom! It was in the sky! That was a regular schedule, running to the terrace for that view. Especially during nights, when we would judge the flight's existence by it's colourful lights. And here I was, sitting in the same plane I always saw from my apartment.
Yes, the kid in me came to life again. The excitement, the joy, the realisation. The smile and the grin on my face could only be justified by me. And I didn't care what other people thought about my excitement or happiness. The experience mattered to me a lot.
And all through the flight, I couldn't help but remember the lines, "I'm flying without wings...."

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Lessons learnt in silence....

(This was written by me around a year ago or more than that....)
My dad used to say, "The second child among the three always gets stuck!" He was the second among three brothers. Not that I believed him, but even I encountered his point in very few aspects of my life. My grandma was telling us that day, that my dad used to write with his left hand, but he was scolded & sometimes even beaten till he got into the habit of writing with his right hand. Probably he didn't like it, who knows! But he never expressed his feelings about that, as he always suppressed his feelings later in life too. He hardly told what he felt, especially when something he didn't like would happen. He was made to do what he didn't want to do.
I guess most of the kids (at least in India) are bound to do what they don't like to do, just because the parents want it (the scenario is changing now though). Dad never pressurised us in any of the matters. I loved my dad from the bottom of my heart. I appreciated whatever he did. I always saw him smiling & in a positive role, & I know that is how he was. I don't remember a single time when he was negative in any way. Not even when he was going through the pains & sufferings later..... As my uncle said & I agreed,"He fought like a tiger." In those years of his treatment too, he always smiled his evergreen smile...
I liked the man he was - a perfect son, brother, husband, father, friend. To him, friends mattered a lot, like they matter to me & my sister. He had maintained all kinds of relationships really well, & in a way - charmingly.
My family recalls how he used to hang out with friends. Their 'adda' was Coffee House. All of his friends & him used to meet & get into discussions. It was like a ritual for him. Their group was called DONKEY which had a full form too, but I don't remember it. Me & Di are like him in this matter too, except that our groups don't have names! Just give us a cup of coffee & friends! On we go chatting about all sorts of things. I like the fact that we are similar to him in some ways. Recently I started visiting Coffee House too, quiet frequently.
He was a good author in terms of whatever he wrote. His writings reflected the creativity inside him. He used to write introductory paras for Di's debates & speeches. And she won most of them. I somehow think that his contribution was a major factor for her winning. After all, the intro matters a lot in a speech. I too won a few prizes because of him. After his death, Di caught his style of writing the introduction of her debates & speeches, & her skills of public speaking added feathers to her cap. Dad must be so proud of her....
He always used to make both of us feel that he's proud of us....though he never said it....we knew. As my family tells me, he wanted only girls when mom was pregnant. He was proud since the day he became the father of two girls. When both of us were born, he distributed sweets to most of the staff in the hospital!! He had decided that his first girl will be named Anupama (after the movie by that name). It just amazes me how confident he was that his first child (& later the second) will be a daughter!!
He brought us up making us feel that we are the apple of his eyes. Infact, he always said,"Anu is my right eye & Niru is my left eye." When he told me that, as a child I would be immensely happy, & I still am. I still feel the excitement of those words & I'll cherish them all through. At his funeral, I didn't cry much....till Di came & reminded me of these same words....I was unstoppable after that.
His death made me feel less powerful. May be because I lost his support, his faith, his confidence. Whenever I am down or feel undecisive, I miss him the most. Because I know, that he would've smiled at me & my decisions. He would've believed in me. It would've been much better if he was around....I miss him...
I used to hear my friends say (& still do), that my father scolded me or beat me....And I would say to myself,"Dad never scolded me, forget beating!!" Infact when mom used to scold us or raise hands on us to beat, few times he would tell her to stop! That's how he was. I specifically remember one time when Peddamma came & asked dad to scold me because I was teasing her or something....He just said "Niru" in a slightly raised voice than ususal, & that's it!! I teased Peddamma all day saying that I told you he wouldn't do that.
He used to give Di & me different pet names, which changed periodically, sometimes based on current affairs! Like Akdu - Pakdu from Jungle Book, Budapest - Bucharest, Trinchomali - Battikalova, etc. Di was more than happy when she visited her Pet name City recently (Budapest). I am waiting for my turn....
Dad taught us everything about life in his own ways. He gave us freedom at the right time, & restricted us when he felt like (which was hardly ever). We learnt our freedom & limits quite well, & later he didn't have to tell us!!
He was a very calm man. Less talkative. But still silently eloquent. I could see the charm in those eyes, the love for his family, for life....
He took things in life as they came, but with that unmatchable, evergreen smile.
I learnt that from him.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Happiness follows....

Yes. I believe that happiness follows, but when?

When you get out of bed (though a bit cranky to get out of it!!) deciding that your day is going to be good, if not great......

When you wear a smile in the morning, which stays all through the day....smiling at your friends, colleagues.....and you mean to smile that smile!

When you begin your day by reading a book in the bus and feel happy that you are making good use of some of your free time....

When you believe that everything around you, may it be the lovely Bangalore weather and the green surroundings around your office, are speaking to you in some way of something......

When you find opportunities to help somebody in the smallest possible way, like cheering up a colleague, or helping a complete stranger for that matter....

When you lend a listening ear to a cribbing friend and help her by giving your opinion, and even if your opinion is what she does not agree with, you know that she got her answer that way!

When you wait for lunch time in office to talk about anything and everything with your colleagues and have a good time in the form of a break.....

When a colleague asks you to play music out loud in the office since you used to play it till a month ago....and you end up getting the name 'Office DJ'!!

When your hooked on the phone after office, talking to a sweet friend and identify with that friend a whole lot, enjoying each part of that conversation....

When you are waiting at the bus stop after office, hoping that you will get a seat...and even if you do not get a seat, you learn small things everyday on that bus ride, and forget that you had to stand all the way....

When you are tired while walking towards home, but you know that you are going to have fun after getting home by just chatting with your sister - cum - friend.....

When you are making a dish after a long time and are super kicked at just the thought of it being ready....not caring how it'll turn out to be.... [ ;-) ]

When your colleagues know and remember your favourite desserts.....and bring it for you without even asking......

When the tea in your office turns out to be better than yesterday.....

When you look at that cute mug of yours which brings a smile to your face and reminds you that there still is a kid in you, and you hope that the kid stays....

When you look at the pen stand at your desk that your college friend gifted you when she was moving back to her city after graduation, and are reminded of those amazing college days.....

When you realise that you've made friends, might be a few, quite fast in a totally new city....that you can trust them....and most importantly that they trust you.....

When you are really low and your friends tell you that they don't like to see you that way and they try to cheer you up.....

When a negative thought strikes you but you wipe out that thought by thinking, looking for something positive.....

When you look at flowers everyday and wish that someday, someone will give you those, and that thought brings a smile on your face.....

When untimely rain strikes the city (possible in Bangalore ;-) ) and sometimes you want to get wet, even though you have an umbrella.....enjoying each of that raindrop on your face....

When you believe that life is an everyday gift, though the gifts might be small - the gesture matters....

Happiness follows, if you find small joys in everyday life.....