Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Finding Freedom

Finding freedom means different things for different people. For some, it literally means doing things they've never been allowed to do. And though some people might be given freedom in their life, they're somehow not free in a few ways.

Though we hail from a small town, my parents have given me and my sister the right kind and amount of freedom. We knew our limits, we knew how freedom is to be utilised in the right way. But in a few ways, I did not find freedom. I was never a rebel to go ahead and do things that I wanted to do. I in no way blame my parents for this. I love them for the way they have brought us up. I am grateful. :) But, sometimes I wonder, if that same freedom pulled me back... That feeling of thinking twice before doing something that you really want to do, but don't fight for, for the fear of hurting people around you. And then you end up regretting or cribbing.

When I moved to Bangalore, I was much much happier, as I did not have to fight anymore. Instead, I found support in my sister! :) She always stood by me and let me try/do new things. Crazy things. Sometimes she even asked me to try new stuff, and to learn from it. I strongly believe that small or big, lessons can be learnt from anything!

It's not a good feeling when somebody does not understand or accept your lifestyle. Especially the one who has seen you grow. Has been there all through. That same person refuses to let go of you, pulling you back by reminding you of the freedom that person has provided throughout. It is hugely ironical. The person does not realise for a moment, that she/he is contradicting the very lesson she/he taught.

I always found freedom in my friends. I wouldn't have to think before saying, doing anything. I wasn't answerable to anybody. They've accepted me as I am. Appreciated me for being the way I am. Pointed out my flaws. And I am thankful to them for all of this. They do not expect me to change my personality for them. I can never do that, not even for my family. There have always been issues in the family for the lifestyle I lead, the decisions I've taken. You know, the small battles. But never with friends. I find calmness and peace with friends around. I'm a social butterfly who likes her friends that display various colours of life through their own wings :)

And I do hope to find the freedom I desire in my future guy as well! The one who sets me free, and expects the same from me. I would always want to treat him like a close friend first, so that he can be the same person with me, as he is in front of the whole world. And yes, expect the same from him. A friendly-romantic relationship! :)

Because I think friends, love, marriage is all about freedom.


Anupama said...

I agree with the closing comment trying to hold someone back, hold too hard we kill the essence of the relationship, be it with family, friends or a partner. Nice post :)

Nirupama said...

Hey D!
Yes, killing the essence of a relationship is pretty easy, that way.
Thanks for the comment :)

Vineet Rajan said...

well said, and i see the search for the guy is on! ;) all the best!

about freedom, especially when parents grant it, it becomes very important that we don't misuse it or abuse it. I could connect with it since I also have a similar upbringing though we did cross our limits at times; they did pull us back in line!

good read

Nirupama said...

Hey Big B!
The search is quite soon to be on ;)
Yeah...Glad we used freedom the right way. And even if we crossed our limits, it was a lesson to be learnt!
Thanks for the comment :)

subs said...

Hey nice post. U got a gr8 sense of writing and expressing yourself to the fullest.

Keep it going all the best!

Nirupama said...

Hey Subs,
Thanks for dropping by and for the comments :)

Poonam Tripathi Singampally said...

True true true... :) (about the article)

Nirupama said...

Thanks Poo Bhabhi! :)