I Owe It To Him!

‎"I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong."


I think I shall remember this quote for the rest of my life. It makes, at least me, realise that it stands true to its each word. Just that it hits you hard when it does ;)


I've always thought on the same lines though. Whenever I've been low, I've been in the moment surely - sad. That stands true for any moment. Happy or sad. And I'm an extremist in terms of temper and sadness. I'm hardly angry or sad. But when I am, its extreme! Lately, I've started analyzing why something pulls me down. It kinda helps me with reasoning it. But not everything  has a reason always. And that irritates me sometimes. And like any other human being (I think), I question Him. I scold Him, take out my anger at Him, look for answers from Him. I remind Him of how I've fallen and got up, time and again. He probably just patiently listens. And it strikes me, that there is someone who's listening. But is not giving answers or is not trying to pacify me, assure me of good times ahead.


Which is why I turn to my best buds at such a time. Looking for answers. But somehow it always happens that I'm left craving for that talk. All I ever need at that point of time is a bear hug, coupled with venting-out talks. I am a person who bottles up things inside. And I'm scared of the day these doors will open and things won't stop. 


I've been exxxxxtremely low only twice in my life. Before the third one recently. And the worst part was that I couldn't put my finger on why it was hurting so much, this time. I spoke to a couple of friends, but it just did not help. I came back to square one. And then I came across this quote that I've mentioned at the beginning of the post. And everything just mellowed down. Everything fell into place. Everything made sense. 


And my faith grew stronger in, "Whatever happens, happens for a reason and for good." I'm not sorry for living in the moment. At least, it reassures the fact that I'm made of emotions. It's for people around me to realise that I do live in the moment. Whether happy or sad. 


Being strong, for me, does not mean that I cannot get low ever. In fact, according to me I have the liberty of doing that since I've always been strong. It makes me more genuine and less fake. It's just that, once in a while, I get tired of the tests He puts. But then, I hope I fare well in it. I am just happy that he wants me to be strong and not a person who can practically crib, cry and whine ALL the time! 


Thank You God for making me what I am today. I owe it to you, big time! ;) :)