Sunday, July 8, 2012

A White Feather Is My Answer Today

I've had this discussion with a colleague of mine, a lot of times. We share our lives in a way that both of us are found saying, "Exactly!!" to each other more than 'n' number of times.

The discussion was about, how you feel like crying for no reason, absolutely out of the blues. And the worst part is, you don't feel better even after crying, I don't know about her! I am left wondering *what* exactly made me want to cry? When someone asks me what happened, I don't have an answer for that. I really don't.

I go back to thinking about such times, those reasons that I never found. Is it work? Is it something personal? Is there something bothering me? When someone tries to help me answer these questions, I am left in a helpless spot. And being helpless is something I've always hated, even if it's induced by me. Especially if it's been induced by me. 

May be it's my heart telling me that you've clogged up more than you can and hence I am bursting out. I look for things that can cheer me up - calling a friend, music, television, books, some movie - everything fails. And then suddenly while watching something today I felt better. I don't even know what it was :-| Then the after effects of feeling guilty starts. Yep, a guilt trip that makes me realise I've wasted an entire day crying, trying to find out what was wrong. And now I have a few hours before this Sunday ends.

But the best answer came to me a few minutes back. I've always believed in Angels. My faith in them grows stronger every time something happens, whether it's small or big, doesn't matter. While I started to write this blog post, this white feather came flying out of the blues! A small yet beautiful one. And I had read somewhere that a white feather is a sign of an Angel being around. There, I had that smile back on my face that I was longing for. A genuine smile that made me realise that my father is around me, in support of me. Probably patting my head when I was crying, may be he was hugging me tight when I was looking for answers to the way I was feeling today. Probably he is letting me know that it's okay to have such days once in a while.

And here I am, relieved to know that my Guardian Angel is just here. Right here. He made my day, like always.

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