Simple Yet Complicated

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I feel bad when I am down. It's not about others getting affected because of my mood, it's about myself. It's a beautiful evening though, with rain gods finally blessing Bangalore with much needed rain. I love rains, but today, I have that lost feeling inside me as I am looking at the rain...

I wonder about a lot of things in life which I probably should not be doing at this young age. But I am not even sure if my thinking about those aspects is right or wrong. Who is to judge? 

Auras around me have always affected me. I love being around good vibes, good auras. It's disturbing when bad auras start popping up suddenly. Especially people who crib about something on and on and on. I am not denying the fact that I don't crib, I do. But not all the time! I get over it, at least try to. I hate to enter a place with a person who passes on such bad vibes. My whole day is ruined in a snap of a minute! Unfortunately, I've not been able to find a solution to this. I hope I can!

On the other hand, I do not have an idea of what has been bothering me so much or why I am unable to get over it, if I know the reason. Sometimes I get stuck to the fact that this world runs on money and how beautiful plus simple life would've been without money. I can cry when I see people travelling to places, thinking how less of it I am able to do. I can cry about the fact that I have to struggle/fight/justify myself for something that is probably my right. I've started having doubts about the sentence, "Life is simple. We make it complicated." All I ask for is life to be simple - in every aspect. Frankly, it's frustrating how I try and keep everything simple in my life but problems start popping up, probably because of this very fact! If only world was a simpler place. If only I could do what my heart wants without thinking friggin once about money! Money, indeed, is the root cause of all evils.

If only we could strike a balance in every aspect of our life, if only we wouldn't have to worry about money, if only I could do anything that comes to my head... The worst part is that these thoughts get clogged in my head for sometime which makes it impossible for me to rise with positive thoughts.

How I wish I could fix everything for me in a jiffy, or someone else could. Coincidentally, the song 'Fix You' plays in my headphones at this time... It brings me a strange respite, though I still don't have an answer to my thoughts...